Mr. Mister Convinced MPL Best Way to Slow Rapidly Growing Industry

Longtime Washington policy figure Harlan Mister, known throughout the supplement industry as Mr. Mister, told reporters Monday that Mandatory Product Listing was “the best tool we have” to slow an industry he described as “growing at a frankly irresponsible rate.”

“Every year, there are more products, more brands, and more people buying them because they want to,” said Mister, standing beside a chart whose line went up and to the right. “Somebody has to put a stop to that, and I believe that somebody is a database.”

Under Mister’s proposal, every one of the industry’s estimated 80,000 products would be registered in a central federal listing, which aides confirmed would be maintained on a single shared spreadsheet that only opens on one computer.

“Our goal is not to ban anything,” said Mister. “Our goal is to make listing a gummy so slow and so confusing that the person trying to list it eventually gives up and becomes a kindergarten teacher. That’s a win for everyone.”

Industry trade group representative Patty Wenzler said her members support transparency but questioned the logic. “Mr. Mister has introduced this same idea every year since 1994,” she said. “He calls it a fresh start.”

Mister dismissed critics, insisting that the industry’s current 6 percent annual growth could be brought down to “a nice, manageable zero” within three fiscal years.

At press time, Mister had been seen leaving the Capitol humming softly and carrying the proposal on what aides described as “these broken wings.”